SOLVED! The Most Pressing Political Question of Our Time: What the Hell is up with Joe Lieberman?

I’ve figured it out.  At first I thought Joe Lieberman was just on a power trip from being the guy who could (and did) stop progress on health reform. I mean, that’s one for the resume.  Then I saw Joe explaining why he thinks we should preemptively attack Yemen, because Yemen is, of course, the greatest threat to democracy since…well…Grenada! That’s when it all made sense.  And the revelation might shock you.

This is actually a socialist attempt to reform health care on the part of Lieberman. He’s a liberal after all! See, what we do is we preemptively attack every country in the world that might someday pose a threat to us.  Realistically, that is any nation with a hardware store or access to hardware via that system of tubes called the Internet.  That narrows it down to pretty much everyone. No, realistically, we’re not going to attack any nuclear powers (I hope), and we are certainly not going to attack Canada or the United Kingdom (debate is still open on France, of course).  And we won’t attack Israel.  But that still leaves an awful lot of attackable countries that could, possibly and foreseeably, pose some kind of threat to the United States.

In order to do this, however, we will have to institute the draft.  Who would be drafted? Well, for a military adventure of this magnitude we would have to draft everyone between the ages of 18 and 65 (and even that is negotiable).

Now here’s how this fits together.  Once we are all drafted and serve our time in such threatening states as Yemen or Nauru or someplace, we will all be eligible for VA benefits! There, health care problem solved!

Of course, all good conservatives know that VA benefits are socialized medicine.  That means that Joe Lieberman is really a socialist!


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